I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “time heals all wounds.” So when Jen got divorced, she just went through the motions and thought that time would make things better. She thought it was working … until she emotionally blew up.
On this episode of Divorced Like a Boss, divorce coach, Jennifer Connors, speaks about the “time heals all wounds” myth. She breaks down how your feelings and thoughts surrounding your divorce are comparable to a bomb that has a timer attached to it. The problem: you can’t see the when the timer runs out, and you don’t know what might trigger it to go off.
So how do we defuse this bomb? Jen breaks it down for us in this episode of Divorced Like a Boss.
I know for me when I got divorced I did all the right things. You know, I took the high road I kept the kids out of it. I went to therapy. I talked it out with my friends and my family, and tried to be open about that. And I just kept on with my life and essentially I kind of had this idea in the back of my head that I was just kind of letting time heals all wounds.
… so just picture this bomb. I've made it pretty I put some glitter on it. Spray painted it purple because purple is my favorite. You know, I did what I could and then I hid it. I just stuck it in a closet so that I could hopefully forget about it. And in an effort to forget about it, I just started piling shit in front of the closet door.
So what if your divorce and everything that happened, and everything that led up to it, and all of the potential … you know maybe you had fights or arguments or things were said or done. What if all of that is just part of the story and you don't actually have to get rid of the memories, you don't have to get rid of the story. It's totally fine. I'm here to tell you that that is totally fine. And hopefully somebody out there just went, “really!?” because that is what happened to me when I finally realized like, “Oh you mean I don't have to somehow forget all of this stuff?” No you don't have to forget it but what you can do is neutralize it.
Maybe it's not just your divorce, maybe it's a death that you've experienced, or even something as simple as, well not simple, but like maybe you were bullied as a kid, and you took those insecurities and all those memories and everything that came with it and you talked it away. But deep down you and I both know that the bomb is still there.
That's what this is all about is teaching you how to find the bomb and uncover it and hold that bomb in a safe space where you can just really look at it examine it break it down until it's just a bunch of random metal pieces and some wires because that's really all it is. … once you have a safe space that you can take that bomb out and really look at it which is what coaching is all about. You can start to see it for what it really is.
When I went through my own divorce, I discovered that the "help" that was out there was either very heavily based on dragging up the past OR slapping a positive affirmation on top of every shitty thought.
Uh, no thank you. Hard pass.
I knew there had to be a better way:
A way for people like me - driven, high-achieving women who were ready to conquer this "divorce thing" once and for all - to stop focusing on the past and start building a genuinely fun, incredible life NOW. A way for us to heal and move on without freaking CRYING every single day.
Heck, throw in some laughs, and you've got me totally sold!
That's when I discovered a method that did ALL of that.
And the rest was magic. (like, Hermione magic, not crappy Ron magic)
Today, everything I do is with the sole purpose of helping other women use my coaching method and tools to create a life and future they LOVE.
If you're ready to capture some of this magic for yourself, hit me up!
Women are moving on and upgrading their lives every day. It's YOUR turn now.WORK WITH ME NOW
Your homework for this week or for today is just to find the bombs. Start digging around looking for them, identify where they are. That first step, just identifying where they are, what they're about and what you have been doing to distract yourself or cover them up and just look at them and just get curious, because the more you know about your bombs the quicker and easier it will be to neutralize them.
Whether it's a nosy neighbor or your delightful Ex-mother-in-law, people are gonna ask...
And now YOU will have the perfect answer!