In Today’s Episode of Divorce Like A Boss, divorce coach Jennifer Connor discusses the past and how rehashing the past is not true way of healing through the divorce process.
Jennifer talks about recognizing and remembering the emotion of your past divorce, and that yes, they indeed happened, but to carry those emotions into your present in future is not going to serve in the healing process. She addresses that the feelings, and/or interpretation you go through in divorce or even in life are an interpretation of a past memory and to move on you cannot live in that mindset in the present.
Today's topic is going to be about the past. Specifically why I don't feel focusing on the past and rehashing the past is the way to true healing. I also don't believe in burying the past.
I don't feel any of those traumatic emotions that I felt when the event actually happened. I'm remembering it perfectly, but I don't have to feel the pain of it, and that's what I love to point out to my clients. The only place that your past exists is in your mind.
It doesn't change the facts of your past. It doesn't change what happened but your interpretation of them in the present is the only way that your past can make you feel any kind of way.
What I want you to do at some point today is sit down and write out your divorce story.Get it all out there. Don't judge it or change it or just realize that no one else is ever gonna have to hear it or see it or read it or anything get it all out.
I know that this can be tricky because we're very committed to our stories, and one reason I like to write it all out and try to really go through with a fine tooth comb and pick out those facts is that. So much of our stories feel like facts and it can be difficult to let them go. It can be difficult to admit that they are interpretation and not gospel truth.
When I went through my own divorce, I discovered that the "help" that was out there was either very heavily based on dragging up the past OR slapping a positive affirmation on top of every shitty thought.
Uh, no thank you. Hard pass.
I knew there had to be a better way:
A way for people like me - driven, high-achieving women who were ready to conquer this "divorce thing" once and for all - to stop focusing on the past and start building a genuinely fun, incredible life NOW. A way for us to heal and move on without freaking CRYING every single day.
Heck, throw in some laughs, and you've got me totally sold!
That's when I discovered a method that did ALL of that.
And the rest was magic. (like, Hermione magic, not crappy Ron magic)
Today, everything I do is with the sole purpose of helping other women use my coaching method and tools to create a life and future they LOVE.
If you're ready to capture some of this magic for yourself, hit me up!
Women are moving on and upgrading their lives every day. It's YOUR turn now.WORK WITH ME NOW
Take some time for yourself today and write out your divorce story. Get it all out in the open; don’t judge it or change it! Just know in your heart that no one else has to hear it but you.
Whether it's a nosy neighbor or your delightful Ex-mother-in-law, people are gonna ask...
And now YOU will have the perfect answer!